It all started when I got accept to the Rescue Dive Team with the Douglas County Sheriff's Dept.  I opted to have the full physical done so that I was sure there was nothing wrong.  I felt healthy.  Well as it turned out I was told that I had cervical cancer.  I remember sitting at the kitchen table and my husband in his chair and we just looked at each other.  Shocked.  Neither of us could speak.  I honestly cannot remember what happened for the next 10 minutes.  We sat quietly.  Even though we were assured that it was operable and all would be fine.  Just hearing the work "cancer" silenced us.

First person I called was my mother.  I could hear in her voice the anguish, it was a short call.  What more can you say to our mom and what she to you?  I contacted my boss and the nervousness in her voice but support to assure me that no matter what the Dept. would be there for me.  My husband and I thought it best to discuss later in person with her the details that would be up and coming. 

I went into what I call my peace room and just laid on the table and cried.  My husband came in and held me letting me know that no matter what we will fight this and get thru it.  He helped in explaining to the boys which, telling the boys was difficult.  They have the fear that I have.  The idea of loosing someone you love so dearly and being alone with your feelings.  Not sure that when you talk anyone is really actually listening or has truly heard what you have just said.  Or can they really see the pain in your eyes.  I know I felt very alone, but strangely enough, I felt healthy. 

As time went by and a 3 biopsies later I had my surgery on June 3rd.  I had told my doctor that my dive training was very important to me and that if was the last thing I did I would pass the physical and get thru the training.  I wanted this step up badly.  I was determined to make it. 

I got thru it all and I am doing well.   As of June 3rd this year I am cancer free.  There is so much more that can go into my story.  I just can't seem to put it all into place.  Funny how I write about it and I still come to tears about the whole ordeal.  So much emotion comes along with disease. 

So much risk, yet so much life.  Good life.  Loving life.  Healing life.

I pray for all who have suffered, those who have prevailed and those who have been taken.  May you all remain in the grace of the Good Lord.